Things I Learned by Watching 24

I just saw my first episode of 24 today. I learned a few things:

  • If I have a computer with a super virus that I plan to use to destroy the internet, I won't also use it to host cracked copies of Office.

  • If I plan to download cracked copies of Office from my place of business, I'll at least go through a proxy server. Hell, I might just wait until I get home to do that kind of shit.

  • If I'm the Secretary of Defense and I have a bad relationship with my son, I won't go see him on the same day he plans to denounce me at a peace rally, it would just be awkward for the both of us.

  • If I'm the head of a terrorist/mole family and my son is having girl problems, I'll consider having a backup plan rather then use my love struck kid at the key point of my scheme.

  • If I get to work and terrorists are torturing my co-workers to find out where I am, I'll try to get away. Once I get away I'll call my friend at the CTA, however I won't use a fucking cell phone. Instead I'll wait until I can find a pay phone.

  • If I plan to meet with Jack Bauer of the CTA in a public place so he can save me from terrorists and I've never met Jack Bauer before, I'll insist on identification before following a man who claims to be Jack into the parking lot.

  • If I'm Jack Bauer and I plan to meet with a guy in a public place to take him into protective custody, I'll give him my description and a code phrase. That way he won't go off with the first terrorist asshole who claims to be me.
It was fun to watch but it looked like Lucy and Ethel were running the two sides.