Things I Learned by Watching 24

I just saw my first episode of 24 today. I learned a few things:

• If I have a computer with a super virus that I plan to use to destroy the internet, I won't also use it to host cracked copies of Office.
  
  
• If I plan to download cracked copies of Office from my place of business, I'll at least go through a proxy server. Hell, I might just wait until I get home to do that kind of shit.
  
  
• If I'm the Secretary of Defense and I have a bad relationship with my son, I won't go see him on the same day he plans to denounce me at a peace rally, it would just be awkward for the both of us.
  
  
• If I'm the head of a terrorist/mole family and my son is having girl problems, I'll consider having a backup plan rather then use my love struck kid at the key point of my scheme.
  
  
• If I get to work and terrorists are torturing my co-workers to find out where I am, I'll try to get away. Once I get away I'll call my friend at the CTA, however I won't use a fucking cell phone. Instead I'll wait until I can find a pay phone.
  
  
• If I plan to meet with Jack Bauer of the CTA in a public place so he can save me from terrorists and I've never met Jack Bauer before, I'll insist on identification before following a man who claims to be Jack into the parking lot.
  
  
• If I'm Jack Bauer and I plan to meet with a guy in a public place to take him into protective custody, I'll give him my description and a code phrase. That way he won't go off with the first terrorist asshole who claims to be me.