Oh Poor Gamer

A Mini-Meditation by Ken Burch

A POST FROM THE NEOCRON FORUMS:

Hello, Can someone tell me a really addictive MMO that they play, Neocron is quiet with it's 130 man peak pop.

I've tried planetside, gets boring too quick, I tried the matrix online, combat is shite and boring with only missions to do. I did give anarchy online a try, but left due to not knowing what to do.

However, I did buy SWG not too long ago with it's expansions, but soon got bored even though I enjoyed it's 1st person shooter element...

I tried everquest 2 for 2 months, enjoyed the music, the gameplay got rather boring.

I did play city of heroes and Villains for a while, then left because my clan left and I couldn't afford the electricity bill for our base...and I got rather bored also.

World of Warcraft seemed rather tedious when I played it a year ago with just missions to do, though I am tempted to retry the game because of the amount of people who have died from playing it.

I did play Guild wars for a while and got addicted to it ... but it soon wore off.

I tried Eve online - left after the 4 hour tutorial...

I did buy a month of face of mankind, but left in the 1st month after seeing the population after all the people left from beta, didn't seem worth it, also I got kicked out of the army for not following orders, I only asked Why I was forced to guard a door for 4 hours a day, which the enemy couldn't even get to...wtf

and last of all, I tried Dark age of camalot, which i thought was rather wank and I left in the 2nd day of playing.

Someone enlighten me with a decent mmo that is actually fun and doesn't get boring so quick...

OKAY, MY REPLY:

Well little Timmy, seems you've just about done everything out there thus far. You've managed to play for a short period of time, games that players have been playing for years. You've tried games that have had their share of expansions and large growth, added content and almost exploded in population! Many of those games you've played, are created by well funded companies and have large departments of programmers, that work around the clock, fixing and making up new ideas to entertain you.

Some of those mentioned have more players in any one zone, then you have on any one server. with little or no expansions since it's beginning. From a stand point of graphics, those other games are at least one or two light years beyond Neocron. I had played Neocron for a very long time and had stayed long after others had split the scene, for whatever their reasons.

It's rather funny to hear people so jaded to other games out there, and trying to find excuses to justify their stay in a game. It's like a woman who bitches to a friend of hers, about how the girl should leave her boyfriend because he's beating the crap out of her. Oddly enough, the woman giving the advice also has a man beating the crap out of her as well.

Seeing that you've done all the MMORPGs out there, and have found them all so boring, perhaps the only next best thing to do is wait until this Saturday morning. After you get up and stagger downstairs to where you and your brother Eddie will sit in the kitchen and eat cereal. While you listen to the television and read the newspaper recently tossed on your doorstep, by a little red head boy named Anthony, you can think about what you posted. With plenty of time before the ball game you want to go see, you can wash up the bowls, clean your room and take out the trash; your mother has been begging you to do that since Thursday.

Later that morning, call in to MTV and request your favorite rock video where everyone is just jumping up and down and screaming with their mouths open and tongues stuck out. You can take a shower and put on that old worn Pink Floyd T-shirt your big brother left behind, before going off to war and dying in a hail of gunfire. You can sit there, combing your hair and wonder why you can't get rid of the flakes, as the perfect solution finds itself to the center part of your brain.

By 10:30AM make your way quietly out of your shared room, being so careful not to wake your now sleeping younger brother. Close the white painted wooden door and make your way downstairs. Your mother is sitting in the living room with clothes in a basket, folding them as she watches some gameshow. Prissy, the family's cat is licking her paw and her green eyes widen. You pat her on the head and she allows your hand to slide down her back and tail as you walk by.

Before you know it, you're outside and the morning air of the early Summer, feels good on your face. Pete, your neighbor has managed to not only wash his car, but has just finished the second coat of wax on his SUV. He smiles and waves despite needed some dental work. You work up a quick grin and wave back, allowing it to fall off your face the minute you turn away.

A small bee flies past your face and you swing at it, missing. You curse it under your breath as you kick a small red ball that found its way into your yard. Your dad's shed is always locked, but you've figured out how to jimmy the lock a few weeks ago. You walk in and cough from the dust, dad never was very neat but you stand for a minute looking around at his tools hanging on the walls. There's a large metal work bench with a drill and bandsaw attached. You think for a minute and it comes to you. Just to the right, theres a drawer. Inside, a cigar box with a small .22 pistol. It's kinda old and a bit rusty, but you load it just the same.

Having done all that there is, played all that's out there and found it all to be too damn boring, Timmy has decided to play one last game. This one will surely hold his interest, you can count on it. The server is very small, his character is 15 years in the making and as far as he knows, long since capped.

The gameshow's host said he'll be back in two minutes and plasters a big 32 teeth grin for the camera. She's reaching for the second sweat sock of her son Timmy when she hears the pop! The basket is pushed away, as the sock falls from a frightened hand. She screams out and runs to the back door! She's heard this sound once before, and the horror once again, comes rushing in.

Timmy found it! Found what he was looking for. The best game anyone could play. A game where everything is perfect, no graphic issues, no sound card problems. No way of cheating and most important as Timmy found out in those final tenthes of a second, no lag. Good boy Timmy, glad you found what you where looking for.

Server Closed.